• The parent viewed money as an animate object seeking to flow or a credit card as something with its own will. The parent views money as an energy flow or with a mind of its own. Spending becomes something that happens without logical analysis. This is different than a response from fear of not being able to enjoy life later but a lack of self-control.
Instead of money blown on parties, drugs, alcohol or big impulse purchases, parents in this case find that they’ve got more month at the end of the money. They cannot account for where the money went in a series of minor transactions or modest splurges, from sports tickets to eating out.
For a child in this case, the child’s view of money may be similar in that money is an abstract entity that comes and goes as it pleases, leaving the individual without responsibility for the lack. Adults can choose the opposite view, realizing that money is only lost when spent and become organized in their finances and apply self-discipline to their spending.
• A dramatic parent can assume that any event outside of plan means that a disaster is about to unfold. A deviation from the schedule is severely punished because the result in their mind is that this will cause the vacation to be ruined if it continues. The intent is to follow the plan for maximum enjoyment.
The result is a strict schedule, badgering to finish meals quickly, rushing through exhibits and an inability to indulge curiosities. An adult can honor the parent’s intent to take the family somewhere or need to maintain control in an unfamiliar situation.
The parent-ego can choose to hold the same view that anything that happens outside of a pre-defined plan is a sign the whole thing is about to fall apart. Adults do not have to “go with the flow” but can logically adapt.
(continued from part I)
